I'm not....

Fragile!!!  
Yeah, we've been trying to have a baby for over 5 years.  But we deal with it with each other.  I deal with it in my own way and I don't need other people making it a big deal for me.  I have a hard enough time dealing with it and trying to not make it a big deal.   UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!   I'm just so tired of people treating me different.  Someone actually told a friend of mind that they don't talk to me because they don't know what to say to me.   Say hi, ask me how things are going.  I have conversations all the time and I don't make it about babies or the fact that we are having struggles getting pregnant. 
That is part of the reason that we have made the decision to stop doing IUI's for right now.  We both have a lot of stress in our lives right now and that process is not an easy one.  It stresses us both out mentally and physically.  It's not an easy process.  Jeff and I sat down the other day and talked about the fact that we are going to stop doing IUI's for now.   I have come to the realization that it may not be in God's plan for me to ever have children of my own.   That's hard!!!!  I feel like I am giving up and that's hard for me. I am not fully "ok" with that, but I'm trying.  I cry A LOT thinking about the fact that something I have wanted so bad may never happen, and it breaks my heart not only for me but for Jeff.  I try constantly to not "worry" about it and fully put it in God's hands, but that is hard.  But I know that it is in God's hands and that I don't have any control over what happens.   
Ok that's my vent session for now :)  I am just very thankful for my family and my wonderful friends.  I know that they get to hear about a lot of my frustrations, but that take it like champs, and are there for me regardless.  Thanks guys :)
Please continue to pray for Jeff and I as we continue on this journey one way or another to have a child.  It's a long road, but I have faith that one way or another we will have a child.