In the good times and bad

There's been a lot of good times lately and I have SO much to be thankful for; but it's so hard to see that sometimes with all the "bad" things. 
I am SO tired of going through all of the stuff to try and have a baby.  It's hard on me, it's hard on Jeff, it's hard on our families and friends I'm sure.  But I can't give up.  More than anything else in this world I want to have my own child.  People make it sound so horrible, and I'm sure at times it is, but I would give anything to be able to feel that!  We want to adopt at some point, but I want to be able to have my own children as well.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that my husband would be an AMAZING dad and I know that he wants more than anything to have that opportunity and it breaks my heart that he hasn't gotten that chance yet.  I know that we can be parents even if we adopt, but I want to have that experience with my child as well. 
I have my moments where I get emotional and I will be that way every so often, usually its in private at home, but sometimes it just hits and it's SO hard!  So I'm sitting at work and the Phillips, Craig & Dean song You Are God Alone comes on and it just reminds me that God is in control and that one way or another that whatever happens is in God's plans.....in the good times and the bad!  It doesn't make it any easier to deal with, but it's a great reminder.