6 Years

So 6 years ago on Saturday, I married my best friend!   It's so fun to look back at how our life has changed over the past 6 years.  It's also sad in a BIG way.  Most of you know that Jeff and I started trying to have kids when we got married.  So Saturday also marks 6 years that we have been trying to have a baby.  I know that God has his own plan and that he doesn't want to show us his plan when we want him to, he wants to reveal his plan on His time.  But it's still REALLY hard.   Jeff and I have been doing a devotional called Moments for Couples Who Long for Children (thanks Heather) and it has been the most AMAZING thing for me!   We are only about a week or so into it, but it has been great to have that devotional time with my husband and to deal with the issue at hand and to really honestly talk about putting it in God's hands.  I looked at Jeff yesterday and just thanked God for a spouse that is willing to stick with me through this, and not turn around and walk out the door.  Jeff had his first REAL break down a couple of weeks ago, and as bad as it sounds, it was nice for me to see the part of him that's hurting.  He has been so strong for me all the time, that I don't think I realized how much this is hurting him too.  We had our "it's not fair", and "when is it our turn?" cries.  It's good to have those, but it's even more reassuring to know that I'm not a bad person for being "upset" with God or for questioning His plan.  I could not be more blessed to have such a loving and caring spouse that is also my best friend and cares so much about me. 

Some of you also know that I have been praying about leading a group for women who are dealing with the same thing.  I know a lot of ladies who are dealing with infertility as well, and I know that it's tough dealing with it when you think you are on your own.  Well after searching MANY  bookstores, and online I could not find ANYTHING, which kind of affirmed to me that it's not something that's really talked about.  Someone mentioned to me a website called sarahs-laughter (http://www.sarahs-laughter.com/).  So after looking around the website (amazing!) I actually found two.  I haven't decided which one I want to do yet (any opinions?????), but once I decide I will get it ordered and get this group started.  I cannot wait to see what God has planned for not only me, but for this group and the ladies that will be touched through this study.